QUESTION: What is included in the mitzvah of kibud av v’aim (honoring parents)?
ANSWER: Although kibud literally means “to honor,” this mitzvah primarily refers to servicing one’s parents in an honorable way. This includes serving them food and drink, helping them to get dressed and to get around (if they need assistance), making sure their home and clothing are clean, as well as shopping and cooking for them. In general, the mitzvah entails taking care for all of the needs of one’s parents.
Sefer Chareidim (Mitzvas Asei 1) writes that inherent in the mitzvah is that children think of their parents as outstanding and distinguished individuals. One should stand up for one’s parents when they enter the room. Chazal describe examples of honoring parents, even to the degree that one may assume is excessive or extreme (see Kiddushin 31b). Since honoring parents is akin to honoring Hashem, there are almost no limits to this.
There is an additional mitzvah to revere one’s parents (mora). Shulchan Aruch (YD 240:2) gives the following examples of reverence: not sitting in parents’ seats, not contradicting them, and not calling them by their names.