The Mesivta admissions process in Lakewood has taken a dramatic and disheartening turn. What was once a carefully coordinated system designed to ensure fairness and order has been thrown into chaos by one yeshiva’s decision to go rogue. This yeshiva, for reasons it has yet to explain, decided to conduct its farhers and accept new bochurim earlier than the agreed-upon date. The ripple effect of this decision has sent shockwaves through the entire Mesivta landscape, creating a frenzy of rushed farhers and frantic parents scrambling to keep up.
Lakewood’s Mesivta system had a timeline. By agreeing on a unified schedule for farhers, yeshivas aimed to give boys ample time to prepare and ensure parents could navigate the process without undue pressure. This approach created an environment of fairness, allowing each Mesivta to evaluate bochurim thoughtfully and ensuring every boy had a chance to showcase his potential.
But this year, when one yeshiva decided to jump the gun and hold farhers early, it disrupted the delicate balance. Other Mesivtas, fearing they would miss out on the “best bochurim,” quickly followed suit. In just a matter of days, a once-organized process turned into a race, with Mesivtas scrambling to schedule their farhers as soon as possible.
The biggest losers in this mess are the boys. Many eighth-graders were in the middle of weeks of planned chazarah to prepare for their farhers. Now, they are being rushed into farhers with little to no warning, leaving them unprepared and stressed. Some boys are being yanked out of Shabbatonim or family plans to attend hastily scheduled farhers. Others are finding themselves at a disadvantage simply because their elementary school couldn’t adjust to the new timeline in time.
Parents are also suffering. Instead of navigating a measured process, they are being inundated with last-minute calls to bring their sons to farhers, often on short notice. The anxiety and confusion this has caused are palpable, as families try to make decisions under immense pressure.
At the heart of this crisis lies a troubling reality: the admissions process has become more about competition than chinuch. Mesivtas are acting less like institutions devoted to shaping bochurim and more like sports teams scouting star athletes. The focus has shifted from helping each boy find the yeshiva that will best nurture his growth to nabbing the top-tier bochurim for the sake of their own kavod.
This is not about hishtadlus; it is a breach of emuna and bitachon. Do Mesivtas truly believe Hashem will only send them the “best” bochurim if they rush the process? Do they think their success depends on outmaneuvering each other rather than doing the work of shaping boys into bnei Torah?
The solution begins with accountability. Elementary schools need to take a stand and refuse to send boys to Mesivtas that break agreed-upon rules. Community leaders must step in and enforce order, ensuring this chaos doesn’t repeat itself next year. Mesivtas, for their part, must refocus on their mission: to be mechanech and inspire, not to compete for status.
Most importantly, we need to remember that these are children—not commodities, not trophies, not names to be added to a Mesivta’s roster for bragging rights. Every boy deserves the chance to find the yeshiva that fits him best, with a process that respects his dignity and individuality.
This breakdown in the system is more than just a logistical problem—it’s a failure of leadership and values. The future of Klal Yisroel depends on how we treat our children. If we cannot create a system that prioritizes their needs, what message are we sending about our priorities as a community?
It’s time for Mesivtas to step back, take responsibility, and commit to restoring fairness and order. If we fail to fix this, we risk not only damaging the boys who are caught in this storm but also undermining the very principles that make chinuch the foundation of our community.
Let’s make this right—for the bochurim, for their families, and for the future of Torah.
Signed,
Avraham B.
The views expressed in this letter are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Lakewood Alerts. Have an opinion you would like to share? Send it to us for review.
The Chadorim have very little leverage. They don’t send boys to yeshiva, parents do. And parents will do whats in their (sons) best interest regardless of the effect on the community at large.
Perhaps a astart would be to name the yeshiva.
wouldn’t that be one of the worst forms of lashon harah? ,even though i would never send my son to such a not yashardike yeshiva I think that the chofetz chaim would want us to keep this closed
Because it’s the ego of each Rosh Yeshiva getting in the way of proper chinuch. They want the perfect learners who are not necessarily the perfect boys, because at least they learn well. So many kids in Lakewood would do well by not being in Lakewood for high school. They would be far better off going out of town, which is just about anywhere when you talk about Lakewood, so that they can really shteig not only in learning but as a mentch!
Breaking an already broken and corrupt system…can you even do that??
AFAF
Lakewood is Torah observance at its shpitz worst. There is far more Torah observance and ehrlechkeit in the Kollel communities of America other than Lakewood. Lakewood continues to show that limud Torah is only for kavod and $$$$.
If there is no money to be made off Torah, Lakewood shrivels into a prune.
Looks like you finally realized that chinuch is a business, not just a entity where schools take children based upon fairness. The same can be said in other areas as well, but that’s not for this conversation.
The system has become less and less helpful to the parents or the bachurim, and more for the advantage of the yeshivos. It has come to the point that the menahel and yeshivas have the decision wrapped up before the bechinos even start. They then want to know where else you applied to, and then you have only one hour to give an answer, obviously you can’t take multiple bechinos get responses and then you should choose. They want to control everything. The rabbeim and menahalim only know a handful of the available options. And even the ones they recommended they don’t follow up down the line if these choices were right, and did it work out for the boys. So let the parents have the power and yes there will always be some option with 65 local yeshivos.
The problem is that “out of town yeshivas” get to do farhers earlier which cracked the system.
Out of town mesivtas have been doing farhers earlier for the last 20+ years!! Nothing to do with what happened here. My boys go out of town, the farhers are earlier but the answers come in Around the same time as in town. because they father everyone before they give answers
Why don’t we call out the responsible yeshivas
For example Brus and Greenfields
They took kids in without Farhers
Don’t forget Lederer.
can the mod delete this lashon harah (agav i highly doubt his dubious claim as the above mentioned yeshivos are both well established and have no need to do such a thing as apposed to many new and weaker yeshivos who would have a motivation
Motzie shem ra! Lashon HARAH!
THE SYSTEM NEVER WORKED! Whoever thinks that the system worked in the past is delusional.
This year, nearly every yeshiva took kids in without proper Farhers! What do these kids need the pressure of farhers for anyway? Baruch hashem, the boys were spared three weeks of pressure and instead went through one intense Shabbos. For years, parents have experienced tears and sleepless nights in this parashah. Having this condensed was a chesed for many. Is there more fallout than other years?
A set system will never work without strong leadership. Since there is no central leadership in Lakewood, it will not happen.
The issue is, what values have this saga taught our children??
It taught our children that the men in charge of their chinuch are selfish , greedy , care about the kavod of their institutions above all else. Have poor middos and trust in Hashem. And it taught the boys that rules are meant to be broken… the chinuch ramifications cannot be overstated!!!! incidentally I agree that farhers are not needed as most yeshivas know who they want beforehand but that is not the issue here- the issue is grown men who are supposed to lead our children grabbing bochurim to get a jump on others . Terrible terrible chinuch. I don’t have an eighth grader this year but I will next year and I will find out which places started this and will not even consider those places because if there is no middos at the top you cannot impart the Torah and its values properly. They are not l’shem shamayim.
I went through this 2 years ago with my son. I can’t tell you how disgusting this whole thing is, and how many tears and sleepless nights I had!!!
This must be taken care of immediately!!!
I have a son in 8th grade this year, and his Rebbe, who has been doing this for over 20 years, gave us hadracha on the four best options. The Rebbe is in touch with the Masivta and the process couldn’t have gone better, and we’re so grateful for his wisdom and insight. Everyone says that there are more then enough spots. Where does the breakdown happen? I believe the breakdown happens when too many people think that only one yeshiva can possibly be the right choice for their son. There are often multiple excellent options, and focusing on just one can create unnecessary pressure. In fact, the fact that the boys didn’t fully finish preparing for the faher might actually be a good thing—it keeps things more authentic and less rehearsed, allowing the yeshiva to see the real potential in each boy, and the boys and family less time to focus on one place.
100?% accurate
The wife of the Tannah Rabbi Meir, she said that a Yid can daven for another Yid that he should improve and become a better person.
The
תנאים
agreed with
ברוריה עליה השלום
Maybe we should daven to Hashem and ask him to help and guide the heads of the Mosdos to make
לשם שמים
decisions.