As this year’s mesivta acceptance debacle continues to dominate conversations, many are quick to point fingers. Unfortunately, those who are critical of Yiddishkeit often seize opportunities like this to claim that our chinuch system is broken. To such people, I am not addressing this. My message is directed toward those who genuinely want to understand the process and the challenges involved.
Of course, there are many types of boys, but for simplicity, let’s divide them into three categories: Gold, Silver, and Bronze.
In the past, a yeshiva geared toward Gold-level boys might have had a student body made up of 65% Gold, 25% Silver, and 10% Bronze (or even less). Gold yeshivas were designed for boys who could succeed with minimal assistance, thriving in a classroom of 40 bochurim without much personal attention. Silver boys often struggled but, with effort and support, sometimes rose to Gold status. Other times, they required additional help to succeed. Bronze bochurim presented a significant challenge. If parents were realistic, they sought extra support for their child, which often worked. However, in some cases, these boys floundered and felt lost, wasting valuable years.
Silver-level yeshivas operated similarly. They had a mix of bochurim—some Gold boys, some Silver, and some Bronze. Gold bochurim often shone brighter in a slightly less competitive environment, though they sometimes lacked the challenge they needed to reach their full potential. Bronze boys remained the hardest group to accommodate.
Ideally, separate yeshivas tailored to their needs would be available. While Baruch Hashem there are many such yeshivas today, they remain insufficient in number. Some parents, whether due to denial or fear, resist sending their child to these yeshivas—either because they have other Gold-level children and can’t admit that this child needs something different, or because Bronze-level yeshivas are sometimes seen as being on a lower level of frumkeit, which parents are understandably hesitant to risk.
In short, many boys are attending yeshivas that are simply not the right fit. As a community, this problem is only growing.
Now let’s address the yeshivas themselves. A yeshiva that was once considered Gold-level can quickly slide to a Bronze level in just one zman. In the past, there were fewer yeshivas, and parents were more familiar with their options. Parents understood which yeshiva was appropriate for their child. Today, with the exponential growth of the community and the opening of dozens of new yeshivas, many are competing to be considered among the “top five.” This intense competition has led to a situation where parents aren’t always making informed decisions. Many Gold-level boys are now choosing yeshivas based solely on where their friends are going. For example, an established yeshiva may suddenly lose its appeal when a newer, more popular option opens, leaving it vulnerable. Over the years, some yeshivas have even had to close as a result of this trend.
To address some of these challenges, an agreement was reached a few years ago: Yeshivas would only begin the farher process on Tu B’Shvat. The reasoning was sound—primarily to allow boys to complete their eighth-grade year without the distraction of mesivta applications.
However, out-of-town yeshivas were not bound by this agreement. I personally witnessed situations where a boy applied to an out-of-town yeshiva, was accepted, but the parents hesitated to send him away. The yeshiva gave them 48 hours to decide before forfeiting their spot. The parents turned to a local mesivta, explained the situation, and were told, “I can’t officially take your son yet, but… I’m putting his name down.” Now imagine this scenario playing out on a larger scale. Before the official process even began, half the classes in many yeshivas were already filled.
Were the yeshivas wrong? Were the parents wrong? Did anyone break the rules?
Obviously, this system was headed for collapse. Last year, many yeshivas filled 85% of their slots before the official process began. This hurt some of the stronger yeshivas, which missed out on the boys they were hoping for.
This year, tensions reached a boiling point. Some yeshivas openly declared that they would no longer abide by the agreement, citing the actions of others who had quietly ignored it for years. Now, those same yeshivas are being blamed for the collapse of the system.
The truth is, the system didn’t just collapse externally—it has been crumbling internally for years.
Because of the pressure this year, yeshivas were forced to make decisions quickly, even for the lower-tier students. In the past, many yeshivas would hold out hope that the Gold-tier boys would still come to them, not wanting to fill their slots with Silver or Bronze boys. However, this year, the situation was different.
As everyone was under pressure to fill slots, yeshivas that once had very specific criteria for admissions became more flexible and competitive, eager to secure even the lower-tier bochurim. In this “buyer’s market,” the Silver and Bronze bochurim happened to have found themselves with better options than in previous years.
So, where do we go from here? Until parents are willing to have honest conversations—with themselves, their rebbeim, and the menahelim—about what is truly best for their child, the cycle will continue. Everyone will keep trying for Gold-level yeshivas as their first choice, and this problem will not go away anytime soon.
Signed,
Y.S.
The views expressed in this letter are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Lakewood Alerts. Have an opinion you would like to share? Send it to us for review.
Take me back to the 60’s and 70’s when being in yeshiva was a blessing, where everyone was on equal footing.
“Yes, yes, I was driving my Chevrolet Impala, which I bought for about $2,752. A gallon of gas cost around 31 cents, milk was 36 cents per gallon, and a pound of flour was 60 cents.
My question, Jeffrey, is this: Was everyone really on equal footing back then—or was that only true when it came to Yiddishkeit?”
There is so nauseating and there is so much wrong with this it’s impossible to even articulate. But the fact is there are thousands of parents who are highly realistic about their children and they still do not get in to their realistic choices. You have definitely not “figured it out”.
Where in this letter does it say the problem has been solved? It’s just explaining why it crashed.
1) And don’t exaggerate—it’s not thousands of parents who are highly realistic about their children and still don’t get accepted to their realistic choices. It’s a small percentage.
2) The idea was that if everyone made a proper “cheshbon hanefesh”, the rush to the top five schools wouldn’t be the same.”
AH !
Take me back to the 1920’s in Torah V’Daas where everyone was excepted
accepted
I think he really did mean “excepted” meaning all the boys were exceptions and that they were not “accepted”..
More importantly @dave, don’t be “that” dumb guy that corrects someone’s grammar mistake. You are not so smart! We all noticed it but weren’t “דפוק” enough to comment
I would assume that comparing the challenges of 2025 to those of the 1920s is a reasonable argument.
Honest conversations are not the solution here.
A boy whose parents did not know they need to game the system is screwed.
They have no options as all yeshivas that were good for their son are filled up before they even took a father…
KAVOD!!!!!!!!!
The yeshivas want to be TOP yeshivas. They could care less about helping young neshamos grow.
They need to be TOP!!!!
I’m a bit confused here. From what I’m reading between the lines, it seems like there’s either the pain of getting mistreated or the frustration of being outside the system and not fully understanding it.
1) In most cases, yeshivas have already had a conversation with the rebbi well before the supposed *farher*. The *farher* is usually just to finalize the decision.
2) I don’t see it as an issue if yeshivas aim to be considered top-tier. However, if parents demanded more second-tier yeshivas, there would likely be plenty available.
3) Saying that yeshivas couldn’t care less about young neshamos is probably mature way to frame the problem.
1. Then dont give farhers to those you are pretty sure you will don’t accept. Dont act like they have a fair shot when in reality they do not.
2. No issue with top tier yeshivas… But what is the goal of the rys… If it was to help bochurim they would not care so much to be labeled top tiered… However they are all fighting/gaming the system by starting early to ensure “they” get the top bochurim. So they clearly are about the kavod.
3. See 2. I do not think it is immature. it is quite evident based on the yeshivos behavior…
And BH I have not been mistreated or hurt at all by “the system” as you put it. Nor have I been hurt by a yeshiva…
When people like YS talk about bachurim on a scale as if a child of Hashem can be put on a scale of worth, and than wonder why distraught parents and community point finger’s and are critical of the system. “Gold silver bronze or even less than, lower tier bachurim” ??? Of course there are different mesivtas for different boys and parents should send their kids to yeshiva’s best for the bachur himself….. but to label a bachur as such and to talk in such a negative way about a bachur who has boundless potential in Hashem’s world is criminal!!
Yehoshua, the idea was not, chas v’shalom, to label boys. It was simply used as a way to explain the concept. Alef, Beis, Gimel was intentionally avoided. But you, like everyone else, you also know that there are numerous tiers of bachurim . How to rate them is a different story. Just because a bachur is a masmid doesn’t mean he isn’t a top tier bachur he may be a meshchus…—and the opposite is also true.
I don’t think most people who read this took it as something negative about any level of bachurim
Gavvah, kovod & again some more gavvah & kovod
I’m wondering if you hold the same opinion when it comes to cars and houses—where people insist on top-tier options with every trim and upgrade—or is it only when it comes to matters related to Yiddishkeit?
This article is the problem with the system
Gold Silver and Bronze
Shake my head
This letter was breaking things down in simple terms. If you felt it was derogatory toward any group, I suggest reading it again. It was focused on dividing students by academic levels, which is a reality many prefer not to acknowledge. Yes, every student is on a different level and needs the right fit to succeed.
Perhaps we are all at fault for not respecting (all) the Yeshivas in the same way. Do we look down at certain Yeshivas or the boys who go there? If yes, no wonder no one wants to send their kids there. We need to be less judgemental and more accepting and things will change very quickly. May we all be able to remove the Gieva whithin us. We need to focus more on the internal not the externals. You should care about what people (would) see about you you internally? Not how your resume will look….
100%
Why doesn’t the author of this article present a solution?
He does not have one. He was just explaining what happened.
You make it sound like the parents fault. An unrealistic parent may be hurting their child, not the system. It’s the system that breeds unrealistic parents because of the stigma of ‘precious metals’ Yeshivas are attaching to their NAMES, at the expense of children’s development and self esteem. It’s time to end the tier system of yeshivos. Every Yeshiva should give up on their dream of going for gold and have separate classes that cater to the boy’s needs. This is the way it was done last generation and no one asked what level class you were in. And this is how it’s done in many a frum community outside Lakewood. More money is spent on fancy buildings and less on helping the kids. (The goal isn’t to have 40 kids in a class running on autopilot as you seem to imply if only those ‘selfish parents would get out of the way’….)
This is the only comment that directly addresses what the letter is about. Yes, the system is broken—sadly, parents are chasing after the ‘name.’
Is it the yeshivas’ fault that they can attract the best boys and receive 1,000 applications, allowing them to choose whomever they think is the best fit for them?
Or is it the community’s fault for not demanding more realistic options and supporting those? Unfortunately, tier-2 yeshivas are often shunned, and many times they end up falling much lower as a result.
The system is headed for collapse because of Yehsivas putting students in classes of gold silver and bronze. The end.
Fixed it for you: The system is headed for collapse because parents are chasing the gold. The end.
Gayvah gayvah gayvah!
Feh, fech, choktooey.
You forgot your signature
–
Sent from my leather chair in Tower 22, wearing my Gucci belt, with the keys to my Mercedes and a box of Cuban cigars next to my Mac. (because that is Anavah)
Nothing changed from the past few years. The classes were basically figured out before the boys even came to the farher. In a way this is a better system. Why make the boy come to a father if you are anyways not taking him?? This way he knows that there isn’t anything wrong with him. His family is not connected and that is the true reason he isn’t getting in.
You can look at the acceptance list of the top tier yeshivas. It’s not metzuyonim exclusively, it is the connected families.
100% true
There’s a reason there is such a thing called “fool’s gold”.
Who ever wrote this letter is a first class fool!!!
All the letter writer did was explain the way the system ran until now and why he/she believes it collapsed. In no way did they claim that it was the correct way to run it or that what happened now was the correct way for the Yeshivos to deal with the issue. So the comment section in this letter does not need to be everyones hate against the system in Lakewood because nobody here justified it.
Also if a yeshiva likely isn’t going to accept a kid.
Have the decency to tell the parents Ami.
DONT LEAVE THEM HANGING!!!
It is not fair!!!!
Children should go to public school. In Lakewood the public-school students would be all Yeshivish.
THE ONLY SOLUTION IS NA NACH NACHMA NACHMAN MEUMAN
YS I agree with what you say I’m just curious what puts a boy in these three tears seems to me that you’re only considering academics which is one aspect, it makes a boy there Midas eidelkeit come from an emotional happy background, not living, luxurious lives. These are the aspects to create a boy in the future.long term the top teir what I understand mainly fouceses on the ecidemics shouldn’t the three teirs be divided upon what type life style there parents live .
UM not sure whats broken about this system
this is normal capitalism, Yeshivos want to stay in business, the 8th grade Rabbeim want their boys placed already and parents don’t have to use PULL or go crazy, everything is done for them.
Gold boys get into good yeshivos, most of the silver boys do well and bronze also go where they want
the only issue is some of the silver boys end up in yeshivos that are not good for them, those parents have to get involved and figure out whats best for them…
Pinny If you know anything about business you never look at short term gains.you look at long term gains and if you look at it with that type of lens you would not accept a boy based on how he did on the farher but rather you look on what type of boy he is and how his middos and what family he comes from and what type of lifestyle there parents live because these are the ingredients for a healthy boy that will grow up………
AS
I am looking long term – I don’t see how this so called “issue” affects anything long term, as long as there are bachurim, there will be yeshivos! some yeshivos will close and new ones open.
If you mean to say the issue is quality of learning or some bachurim aren’t in the “perfect” yeshiva for them – please explain the issue, I may be missing something…
Most bachurim are in yeshivos that help them grow, 10-15% will always not be a great fit, but thats always been an issue and its not enough to crash the whole system
if anyone can explain, what the major issue is that is crashing the whole system?
Maybe some yeshivas should open up half hour away with a dorm.
This way people uninterested in sending their kid away won’t apply there, allowing for those schools to be able to choose from a smaller pool more carefully. The other schools will also have less applicants.
Another factor for schools with dorms will be about maturity and self dependence so that there are other factors thrown into the mix other than kishronos.
All this can be avoided by sending to an out of town mesivta. And your son may shtieg better by being goel lmakom torah.