MAILBAG: The 9 Days Scheduling Conflict Is Out Of Hand

Each year, the 9 Days provides us with a time for somber reflection and mourning the loss of the Bais Hamikdash. It is obviously a very serious time, when we must look inwards at our wayward ways and commit to doing better so that next year, Tisha B’av will be a day of celebration.

However, I find it difficult to truly sit down and think about the Churban during the 9 Days because of the incredible amount of places I have to be. You see, besides for my regular schedule, I also have to attend dozens of siyumim being made by friends who make a siyum (or two, or three) during the 9 Days.

I’m not sure how it works out like this, but my friends only make their siyumim in this time period. Perhaps it’s because the summer gives them some extra time to finish a mesechta, who knows. Regardles, I find myself lurching from one party to the next. At times, I find myself stuck – how do I make it to Reuven’s siyum when I also have Shimon’s and Levi’s to get to, and they’re all called for the same time? Furthermore, I have to eat at each one, so besides being stretched thin for time, my pants are stretched too. By the time I’m done each evening, I have so much meat in my gullet that a heavy dose of antacids is warranted, adding to my discomfort.

This has resulted in not only every minute of my time being consumed by my consumption, but also by doctor’s visits to deal with the cholesterol surge and to request a prescription for WeGovy so I can fit back into my pants after Tisha B’Av.

If anyone has any advice on how to attend all these siyumim while also keeping their schedules relatively intact, and also mourning the Churban at the same time, please let me know.


A poshite yid 

P.S. While written lightheartedly, I hope everyone reading this gets my very serious point.

The views expressed in this letter do not necessarily reflect those of Lakewood Alerts. Have an opinion you would like published? Send them in for review at 

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  1. Firstly I find that even small things can go along way.
    For instance don’t eat as much at the siyum and have in mind it’s for the churban.

    But secondly why do you feel you need to run to every siyum?

    Also you need is a min to reflect just make a minute and eventually add.

    • …don’t eat as much at the siyum and have in mind it’s for the churban….

      If the Halacha does not require this self imposed chumra then its a shuts. The point of the seudas mitzvah allowed during the nine days in itself is the greatest nechomah for the Churban.

  2. Here’s an idea to solve your dilemma. Just say that your family’s minhag is not to take part in any siyumim during the 9 days. If it’s a real siyum, they can make it the week after Shabbos Nachamu. My father ztl didn’t hold from these fake siyumim, and we continue to keep to that. Do they think that Hashem doesn’t know the real thing from fake news??

  3. You need new friends and some practice with self control.

    I don’t hear about many Siyumim during the 9 days, even though I believe I’m quite popular, and get invited to many Siyumim over the course of the year… And you don’t have to eat every time you see food.

  4. Huh?

    This was a serious point? I must have missed it. I haven’t been invited to a single siyum. I’m eating fish and veggies for nine days and staying focused on churban habayis. Perhaps it’s not a schedule that needs revision but your choice of friends who can’t be bothered with this trivial matter. Good Lord.

  5. I really don’t see your point here, of course it’s a time of mourning, but there’s nothing wrong with trying to make sure you finish a mesechta in the 9 days, and I’m sure hashem is not upset with someone that found a loophole that’s perfectly according to Halacha.
    May we be zoche to turn those 9 days into days of happiness very very soon, amen.


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