As a frum mother living in Lakewood, I’d like to share a small observation—not as a critique, but as someone who deeply cares about the beauty and strength of our community.
Lately, I’ve noticed that blouses and shirtdresses are very much in style. They’re tasteful, refined, and give a polished look that’s really becoming. But something I’ve been seeing more and more is that when the top button is left open, the neckline often ends up not being properly covered, according to the tznius standards our community holds dear.
What’s interesting is that when we were in school, the blouses almost always came with a designated “tznius button”—a small, extra button just for that reason. It was a given. But somewhere along the way, after marriage and motherhood, we put on beautiful blouses and dresses, and the next button down suddenly feels acceptable—yet deep down, we often know it’s not quite the same level of coverage.
I’m not talking about those who leave it open intentionally. I’m thinking of women who do care about dressing b’tznius and simply may not realize how much the neckline shifts throughout the day. What seems fine in the morning might reveal much more by the afternoon—especially when we’re busy with kids, errands, or just life.
Some women solve this by wearing a shell underneath or adding a snap, which are both great solutions. But in the heat, and with our full schedules, it’s not always so practical. That’s why, in many cases, the easiest and most effective solution is already there: the top button. Just closing that one button can make all the difference. It’s just one more button, but it could make a world of difference!
This letter isn’t meant as a complaint—just a heartfelt reminder from someone who cares. As Chazal say, “אין לך יופי כיופי של צניעות”—“There is no beauty like the beauty of modesty.” That ideal is something we all carry from our school years and into our homes, and it continues to define the grace and dignity of our community.
With admiration for the women of Lakewood, and with care,
A Fellow Mother
The views expressed in this letter are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Lakewood Alerts. Have an opinion you would like to share? Send it to us for review.
😂😂, I think the world has much bigger problems
Agenda!!!!!
Just cause you try to write it in round about way as if your are such a sweet person trying to help, it still.is clear you have an agenda.
Please stop.
Your letter speaks to nobody. We have the most tzniusdiga community in this country. I am proud to raise my family here. and walk the streets humbled by the incredible adherence to tznius our noshim tzidkuniyos have.