Multiple girls’ high school in Lakewood has issued a letter to parents urging vigilance regarding the locations their daughters frequent, emphasizing that certain eateries in town may not align with the values and standards of a bas yisroel. The letter specifically highlighted concerns about a particular eatery on Thursday nights, describing it as an environment that may compromise the atmosphere of kedushas bas Yisroel.
The letters called on parents to take an active role in knowing where their daughters go and with whom, emphasizing the importance of maintaining appropriate standards in all facets of life.
This warning follows a recent call to action from Lakewood rabbanim addressing broader issues of safety and propriety in the community. The rabbanim’s guidance, detailed in a public letter, cautioned against the risks posed by unsupervised outings and inappropriate influences, urging parents to remain aware of who is driving their loved ones and the settings they encounter.
The rabbanim’s statement, which can be read here, warned against girls being driven by men outside of their direct family. The high school’s advisory appears to echo this sentiment, underscoring the role parents play in guiding their children toward environments conducive to Torah values.
So the scribbled out name written in the second letter as a matter of fact is not the worst place to be on a Thursday night, as a matter of fact anyone who knows a thing or two about the place knows that 90-95 percent of girls there on Thursday are frum b.y. girls with the exception of a tiny minority, just because a place has a bad name doesn’t mean it’s actually bad. I think these b.y. principals should stop listening to everything that’s thrown their way because that’s considered lashon hara and maybe they should get their priorities straight before making decisions. Another thing very few boys and girls there even talk to each other, again it’s the 5% semi o.t.d. ones that do, every one sticks to their gender group (for the most part). During the week maybe it’s not too great for a frum highschool girl to hang out but on Thursday the “bad influence” ones avoid it and go elsewhere. These are simply the facts.
You agree that on certain nights those individuals do actually show up at that eatery. Lakewood has many eateries. Why can’t the girls find a new eatery?
Also, at the present moment there are about 80 live hostages rotting away in Gaza in a real live Geihinom. Every single day and night they are enduring mind boggling torture and almost zero food. Hashem would like very much to hear the Tehillim of these precious and wonderful girls. It would mean so much to Hashem, if the girls gave up their eatery get togethers and said some beautiful chapters in tehillim. Even just one time, Hashem will be so happy.
To our chushava parents,
Please, please do your children the utmost favor and look deeply into a school and their principles before enrolling your precious children. Don’t just enroll because that’s where you got accepted, make sure the schools views and teachings align with yours! For a school to single out a specific business, or small industry is really not ok. Are there not halachos of rechilus/lashon hara that need to be followed, even by the “higher ups”? Why are we not teaching our girls fine middos and ehrlichkeit instead?! When girls go out , they should act in a refined manner and should not talk loudly. They should leave space for others to walk by. They should not linger in an establishment longer than they have to. When they go home in a car service, they should not talk loudly (especially about someone’s “cute” brother/cousin/uncle/waiter), and instead sit like an eidel meidel for the long 15 min trip home. And have that “difficult” conversation with them. 99% of our children will have to interact with the opposite gender at some point in their lives. Teach them the correct way of doing so.
Signed,
Every owner of any establishment, be it jewish or not
Enough with putting down yidishe businesses. People’s parnassah are on the line. Did you confirm that the owner of the eatery was approached by askunim or rabbonim prior to publicizing this?
Rechillus is RETZICHA.
Girls hanging out? AT NIGHT? Whats kosher with that?
Perhaps the schools can initiate programs for the girls that are really fun in a controlled environment as an alternative, (i.e. exercise class, some type of art or performing art, entertainment, etc.) Perhaps people with interesting knowledge or jobs can teach the girls something out of the usual school things,(i.e. medical, legal, financial/business, meditation.) There’s opportunity to do chesed in a fun and unusual way( i.e. plan and execute a huge birthday bash for someone lonely in a nursing home, put on a performance about the life story of someone special in the community, clean/paint/fix up the home of someone unable, make a fun activity for young kids from single/ill parent homes, etc.) Maybe it’s time to explore if the girls are faced with a temptation to “do something”, they will have an option that parents and schools in the community approve of and won’t resort to going places where the yetzer hora is stronger. Maybe it’s time to evaluate that these kinds of things shouldn’t just be for chol hamoed, or for some girls who’s families can afford them. (If you can incorporate some good “leil shishi” food that’s ordered from those establishments that are unfortunately being targeted, it’s a win- win.)
Come on, yidden are such resourceful people! Get creative! Stop just kvetching about this, and think of a solution! Let the girls weigh in on it! Let parents get involved devoting their time and (perhaps hidden) talents! Make it a time for bonding! Make it FUN! So many benefits…
Btw, this is what was done in inner city areas when kids were spending to much unsupervised time on the streets which led to dangerous and criminal activities. There are many stories about the positive impact a group activity and mentors can have on teenagers. “Chachmah bagoyim ta’amin”